WHAT'S WITH THE NIGHTLY NEWS?

I wonder what the crime rate is for my state. Have the number of violent crimes decreased? Have they increased?

How's the war on Terror going? Did the troop surge stabilize the region? How many American soldiers died last week?

How's the Presidential campaign shaping up? How many candidates are in the running? How many have a chance. What are their stands on the important issues facing this country. I'm just curious.

Will taxes increase.

How much is a gallon of gas going to set me back this summer?

I can tell you this, this week we will---

1. know the identity of Anna Nichole Smiths baby's daddy.
2. know the cause of her death.
3. know if Britney Spear's hair will grow back.
4. see three or four slow-car, cop chases
5. see an interview with American Idol and Trump losers.
6. listen to movie star-political commentators and strategists.
7. see another celebrity named to Rosie's "hit-list."
8. be shocked to discover college kids are getting stoned and having sex during spring break.

What we won't get, is the news.

"Goodnight Mr. Brinkley, wherever you are!"