PICTURE THIS

Last summer I bought a 35mm camera with a telephoto lens for $10.00 at a yard sale. I've shot seven rolls of film and have decided this is going to be an expensive hobby, considering I only get one decent picture for every three rolls. Good thing the camera was so cheap.
Some time back I saw a flock of twenty-five wild turkeys in my backyard. I grabbed the camera and stalked the gobblers. Turkeys are difficult to sneak up on, but I managed to get within fifty to sixty feet of the magnificent birds. They looked huge through the telephoto lens. The rising morning sun lit their plumage in an iridescent glow. I knelt behind an old gnarled oak and snapped several pics, bracketing the exposure to ensure I'd get at least one good shot. One ancient gobbler with a 12" beard strutted like a model on a runway and I entertained visions of seeing his portrait on the cover of Outdoor Life Magazine.

Fire yanked me from my fantasy. My right knee was enflamed. I was kneeling in a red ant hill. The fiery devils were swarming up my leg. I limped inside, dropped my pants, and jumped in the shower. A red river of ants swirled down the drain.

After I popped a couple of aspirin, I checked my camera to see how many more shots were left on the roll. Of course, the camera was empty. No film. No photos to submit to Outdoor Life. Just a knee full of angry red welts.
Later, after the swelling went down, I loaded the camera and took these.