Top ten reasons David Letterman should apologize to Governor Palin and Willow

　
　
10. He's jealous because Arod didn't knock him up.
9. He confused being a jerk with being a clown.
8. Alzheimer's made him say it.
7. To keep from losing his fan.
6. Set an example for his great-grandson-I mean son.
5. He's giving gap-toothed, misogynistic pedophiles a bad name.
4. He's scaring little girls.
3. Was smoked up on crack when he said it.
2. He stole the joke from his brother, Satan.
1. It's the right thing to do.

FIFTEEN MINUTES OF SHAME

Adny Worhol's quarter hour term has finally ticked off. Time was, everyone had their fifteen minutes of fun in The Sun. We now face stranger days. The media is scouring the planet, looking for people to shame.

Michael Phelps swam his way to fame. But no one is safe from the media mobsters, and now Phelps has to swim through the sharks.

A woman in southern California gave birth to eight children. She already had six. The media blitz has left Lindsay Lohan and Britney Spears valiantly looking for the paparazzi. The t.v. talking heads
are outraged. How dare a woman have so many children? How will she care for them? She'll have to go on welfare!!! When news broke that mom might make $2,000,000 doing an interview with Oprah, the same talking heads condemned her for birthing for profit. God forbid she makes money from an interview so she can care for her children. I guess she should let the government feed them.

How to keep a poker face

The eyes may be the windows to the soul, but at the poker table, the eyes are the windows to the hole. Hole cards, that is, and if you want a shot at the pot, you need to pull the blinds....Click title to read the rest

BEYOND THE GRAVE

My Grandmother and I had a pact, an unwavering commitment to slip through the veil separating the dead from the undead, to reconnect with a cold reminder, some subtle touch to tell the other of our presence. Whoever passed first would contact the other. We rarely spoke of it, such are the conventions of the southern soul, but I would occasionally catch a glint of remembrance in her rheumy eyes, a promise to be kept, a gift in the making.....

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A NEW KIND OF HERO

The jerk who stole the bike belonging to a missing coed said he took it because he needed parts for his own bike. And if someone leaves a bike sitting unattended, it's takers keepers. He did acknowledge the bike was chained up, but shrugged that off. Oh well, his bad.

And his lawyer claims he's a hero for notifying the police. HERO!!!!!